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Laurel.Bay: Diary of a Fatshionista

Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

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  2006.07.08  01.12
Le Gasp! Lane Bryant Outlet Stores!

Look, it's a link!

Lane Bryant is opening up outlet stores around the country in the coming weeks. Check out the link above to see which is nearest to you, and when it will be opening!


  2006.05.29  21.28
Weddings, Mothers, and MCPoverty

MCPoverty would, of course, be Middle Class Poverty, where two people can make a household income that is, at face value, a decent amount to live on, and yet they live check-to-check with bills causing an increasing headache.

wedding bluesCollapse )

Mood: frustrated

  2006.05.08  14.25
We are goose-less.

The mating pair that I had an encounter with about two weeks ago finally had their eggs hatch, and I was able to witness part of the event on the way out of the building Friday afternoon. Goslings are amazingly YELLOW.

Friday night, went to help friends move.
Saturday night, spent all day helping same friends move (and didn't get to see A.M.).
Sunday, I felt like CRRRRAAAAAAAP, could barely move (apparently not eating on Saturday does that to a body), and shuffled off to WalMart for food. I bought a crapload of produce, a big ol' 15 pound turkey (no, really!), some dried beans, some fruit.. forgot to buy a replacement keyboard, though. Came home, chopped up veggies and fruit for snacking later, and crawled into bed with A.M. and passed out again.

I finally felt better last night around 8:30, after I'd fixed and eaten some stirfry with rice. Unfortunately, mom called (three times) while I was still feeling like Death warmed over around 7:00, and was very miffed when I answered the phone with a garbled, "whut?" She hung up on me and refused to answer the phone for the rest of the night.


I get to keep trying to call her again TONIGHT to apologize for daring to answer the phone with anything but a cheery voice when I'm feeling like crap. Lesson learned: When mom's trying to call and I'm feeling like hell, turn off the f'n phone.

Mood: blah

  2006.05.03  16.52

Cancel that last entry. I just received a call saying I'm not qualified to be interviewed, so the interview is cancelled until further notice.


  2006.05.02  15.50
*le gasp*


Wish me luck, peoples!

I gotta do laundry, perfect my makeup stylin', do my nails..


  2006.05.01  13.49
Instant Karma's gonna get you.

...but before I go into Instant Karma, I'd first like to say:

Steven Colbert is a God.

(it's about the second article down. The first video of the set of two is priceless.

Now, on to Instant Karma (just add water):

Sweeping has paid off in a big-ish way this past weekend, when I won a 26" flat screen TV and a case of popcorn. Sent off the affadavit today (with delivery confirmation, of course). I don't know if it will be a flat panel or a flat screen CRT, but it will be HiDef and it's apparently worth about $1300. My fingers are crossed and I'm hoping it's a flat panel. mmmm... skinny electronics.

Lots of sweepers believe there's karma involved in sweeping. Having won this three days after my goose encounter lends some credibility to that.

Mood: prideful

  2006.04.27  14.28
Good GOD it's that time of month..

I've spent half the day in severe anxiety that my relationship with A.M. is failing, due to an off-hand comment made yesterday about our wedding being a "Sore Spot" for him right now. I've been near tears thinking that when I get home, he won't be there.

I've been irritable, moody, and don't feel all that well.

Ten minutes ago I RAN to the restroom.. that time of month, caught me by surprise, it's no wonder I'm such a f'n mess today -- I will say that I'm rather surprised by it. Typically it doesn't effect me this emotionally, just physically.

Mood: post-PMSing!

  2006.04.27  10.34
So some guy comes to my desk today..

...never met him before, rarely seen him. He sits down and says he wants to talk me about something he "watched" me do yesterday.

FlashbackCollapse )

So this guy wants to talk to me about what he "watched (me) do yesterday with the goose." I was honestly expecting to get a lecture about interfering with nature, especially considering I was laughing to myself yesterday about screwing with Natural Selection. He then proceeds to tell me how much he learned from me yesterday, and asked why I did it. I didn't really have an answer for him, so I just said that I like animals (durrrr). He said that he learned the following from me: he appreciated how I took decisive action to solve the situation; he appreciated how I did what needed to be done, without concern about how I "looked"; he appreciated that I didn't take punitive action against the gander that was attacking.

I really do appreciate HIM coming by to tell me these things. I've been working my ass off here lately, and I have to say that my little adventure yesterday was the first time I'd really felt like I'd accomplished something worthwhile here.

Mood: pleased

  2006.04.26  08.57

Interesting note:

We've apparently replaced Administrative Professionals Day with Bring Your Underaged Distraction To Work day.


  2006.04.24  10.59
In search of the Feminine

On Saturday, I used the gift certificate that A.M. so generous gave me to have a massage (hot stone), pedicure, and manicure done. In addition, I had my hair cut, having decided that it was about damned time that I get rid of my long locks and go with something more professional.

You see, I've determined that one of the (many) reasons I cannot find a job is because I'm not acting the part. I may know my stuff, but unless you're willing to put on a costume on stage, you're not really being the character. One phrase in the ONLY interview I've had in the past year has been haunting me: "We need someone who looks professional." During the interview, this person told me that at LEAST four times. Every time I agreed with him, nodded and smiled, and wondered why he kept telling me this: I was wearing a nice suit, carrying my Franklin Planner and purse. WTF?

So, I got my hair cut. It's no longer the long, dark tresses that I've considered a key part of what makes me attractive. I now have shoulder-length hair and BANGS. It doesn't look bad. Once I master it, I can probably make it reasonably cute. I still feel like I've cut away a part of my soul, though.

Today, I went into the gym 15 minutes early, so I could style my hair and do my makeup. I thought I had put my "product" into my gym bag last night so I had the hairspray and volumizer that I was going to need. Nope, no product. So I had wet my hair for nothing! I blow it dry, and I have a head full of straight fuzz. Yes, even my curls are gone right now. I put up my hair and decided to do my makeup and forget my hair for a day. Oops. Forgot to bring mascara and eyeliner. I instead put on some lipstick, eyeshadow, and I highlight my brows with a little brown eyeshadow. You make do with what you have, right? I feel like a clown. Seriously. I feel like a joke, as if I've cast myself into a role I was never meant to play. It's frustrating. If I looked anything like I look now at that interview, I can see why I never got the job.

Later this week, I'll head to the Mall made up like I am now, and beg for help from the cosmetics department. I obviously don't know what I'm doing, so I'll have someone show me step by step what it takes to look like a female.

Mood: frustrated

  2006.04.21  08.36
Back to basics

Finally woke up at 6:00 a.m. this morning, which means I was able to hit the gym for the first time in... (drumroll, please)... Two Months. 45 minutes of gymratting, the majority of the time spent on my good friends, the weight machines. Damn, I love weight training, especially when set to the tune of Nine Inch Nails' Hand That Feeds. The guy at the front desk who makes the smoothies remarked that he'd thought they'd lost me to another gym.

No, dude.. I'm just freakin' lazy.

I have come to grips with a few things in the past couple of months, however:
  • I'm not interested in dieting anymore. Yes, I'll try to cut back on the crap and fast food, but when all is said and done, I'm not going to diet any more. It doesn't work, it doesn't help, and it encourages a feeling of failure when it doesn't work/help.
  • I can be happy with myself, even if I don't reach my goal. Very important to me, actually. As long as I can continue using the Triceps machine (and it is a CLOSE fit on that bastard), I'm good.
  • I can be glamorous, even if I don't reach my goal. I finally broke down, bought new bras last weekend (4 sizes larger than what I was wearing before. No wonder I was having stomach cramps so often, with it being constricted that badly), and I have an appointment tomorrow to get a manicure/pedicure/hot stone massage/haircut-style. In addition, I'm trying to teach myself the best ways for me to wear makeup.
  • I'm not happy when I'm not active. This isn't necessarily gym talk, by the way. The past two months, I've been sitting on my ass in front of the computer entering Sweepstakes (tell them blackleatherrain sent you) and playing poker online. I've been making sales because of my store on eBay, but haven't put out ONE NEW ITEM since February. This doesn't make me happy. I forsee spending time reading outside while the dog enjoys the air, more time photographing and listing items, and more trips to the library. Being a lump is not satisfying.

  • I've determined a few other things, too -- primarily, I need a new job and secondarily, I need to become more active in the community. I've been working on the former for over six months, now, and hope to hear within a month if I've been added formally to the company I'm working with now. If not, I need to look elsewhere. The lack of paid vacation days coupled with a mandatory week off at the end of the year will be a severe financial blow to me that I just can't handle again. In becoming more active in the community, I need to find two things to participate in: political committees (I plan to volunteer for the local chapter of the Democratic party and/or any gay rights committees in the area, because the bigoted BS I'm hearing on the radio from local Republican candidates is making me physically ill) and choral groups. I think if I can find a good choral group to join, I'll be able to eventually find a church to cantor at, and I've been missing music SEVERELY.

    For lunch today: Moe's Southwest Grill finally opened up down the street. I saw the "now open" sign on my way to work from the gym, and I have been C R A V I N G some damn fine Southwest food ever since. Only.. uh.. three hours to go.

Mood: hot

  2006.03.27  08.18
I have the most odd dreams..

What is with my subconscious obsession with zombies?Collapse )

God, I have weird dreams. The unfortunate thing is that these kinds of dreams result in me being unrested in the morning. I wake up feeling that I haven't slept at all, which certainly explains the incredibly dark circles forming under my eyes. Augh.

Other updates:
  • The dog is still under the mistaken impression that the couch is hers. Part of me wonders if I'm going to have to pee on the couch to keep her off of it.
  • Dr. Who is my new favorite weekly.
  • This is shocking. No, really it is. No one could have forseen that. Thank God we've got our priorities straight, though.
  • Career Hunt is still on. I'd be attending mortuary school already if there were one nearby.

Goals for the Week:
  • 2 visits to the gym. Mornings, afternoons, don't matter -- I just need to start going again.
  • 10 new items on eBay.

Yes, I'm starting small, but big goals tend to thwart my ability to achieve, so I'm lowering the bar, baby!

Mood: sleepy

  2006.03.20  10.50
I'm not calling my landlord a slum lord, BUT..

.. I have never had a landlord that is quite this ready to do absolutely nothing to repair their own property. Seriously. My brain cannot wrap itself around the idea of a landlord that would pay hundreds - perhaps thousands - of dollars to replace hardwood flooring in a three bedroom house, but leaves a bathroom stained black with mildew upon moving in. A man that will pay to have rooms refinished and repainted after a damaging pair of boys lived in it for six months, but won't fix three holes cut out of the wall, one in an obviously unfinished, unpainted bathroom. One that willingly leaves a gas stove for our use in the kitchen and records this stove and its model in the lease, but refuses to repair the goddamned thing.

I am so frustrated right now. We've been finding shards of glass in the bedroom carpet, which quite obviously means the thorough cleaning that we were told occurred never actually happened. D.C. is sending over a guy named Barry to fix the hot outlet to the washer (we've been washing with cold for the past couple of weeks), but he says that "typically, when we leave behind sumthin like uh stove, it's the tenant's responsibility to fix it."

Laurel goes off and uses lots of language not suitable for children.Collapse )

I'm annoyed, but have done some research this morning, and NC law says that if a landlord furnishes an appliance, it's the landlord's responsibility to keep that appliance in good repair. The downside is that NC does not permit an escrow account for rent, so the idea of withholding our rent and putting it in escrow until this piece of trash fixes our stove is out the window. You need the landlord's permission to withhold rent -- what kind of sense does that make? Of course, this is also a right-to-work state, so it's pretty f'n obvious that looking out for 'the little guy' isn't necessarily in this legislature's interests.

Mood: pissed off

  2006.03.14  11.15
Goddamn, I detest hypocrisy.

In a thread on a FA/SA forum, one person commented that skinny girls have lower self esteem, which is why they are the ones who feel the need to flash themselves on camera for girlie videos, and that fat girls have too much pride and self-confidence to do that.

Really? And here I thought I'd never do that on camera, because I would rather not get laughed at by the general public because of my size... not to mention no cameraman would ASK me to flash for the camera, for the same reason.

When pointed out that a similarly arrogant statement about fat girls would be considered unacceptable and another form of fat-hatred, and the original statement should NOT be something condoned by FA/SA activists, at least two more people jumped to the defense, one of them insisting that the rest of us need to "RELAX." The best part about this is that the moderator, who is more than happy to jump in and kill a thread when it's hinted that weight loss isn't a BAD thing, has yet to say a thing about this.

Christ. Is it too much to expect some people to be reasonable?

Mood: annoyed

  2006.03.12  17.05
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

Not only is the movie hilarious, but I'm now craving the HELL out of the WC.

:( And there aren't any down here. :(


  2006.03.11  13.03
Movies on TBS today

I had forgotten how shitty Batman Forever is, and how incredibly GREAT Turner and Hooch is.


  2006.03.10  15.24

Absolutely GORGEOUS day outside right now, I can't wait to get out of here. It's a lovely 70-something degrees outside, and tomorrow looks to climb to 80. I prefer 70, for what it's worth, but I'll take what I can get.

The energy of the season, the vibrancy of the colors, and the warmth of the air are all combining to inspire me to refresh myself with another attempt at a regular exercise regimen (really, it's a cycle for me, and not in the bike kind of way).

One of the sweeps that I've recently entered is one that flies you out to LA (I think?) for the Rock N' Roll Marathon, in which you will be given a place as a Runner. While I find the idea of my large ass running alongside professionals, it also excites me. I'm hoping I win.


  2006.03.09  08.04
Jobwatch: Day whatthehellever.

My work day begins at 8:00 a.m., and I typically arrive on campus at 7:52-7:55, depending on traffic and other factors (including what time I've left the house). This means that I'm also typically parking at the back of the parking lot, since most GOOD employees will arrive early to work.

For the last two days, I've been parking near the pond in our parking lot, where there is a nesting pair of geese making their home in the pine straw around the trees there. For two mornings, I've been hissed at as soon as I step out of the car. I keep thinking.. you're awfully SMALL to be trying to intimidate me away from here, aren't you?

We can look forward to another flock (and yes, I do mean flock -- we're overloaded with geese here) of goslings in another month or two. They're absolutely adorable, except when they try to cross the street. That just worries me.

No word from any potential employer, including my current one.

We are moved in and comfy, but the house still needs a few things to make it more homey, including curtains on the LR and BR windows. It's on the list, and I'll probably be making them myself (good curtains are SO expensive).

Mood: amused

  2006.03.02  11.34
Jobwatch: Day 10

The job I was hoping for still hasn't gotten in touch with me. In true A.M. style, I have determined that I'll not get the job, so I've stopped hoping for it. Now, I'm just mildly annoyed that they've taken so long to tell me "No."


Possible good news on the job frontCollapse )

A.M. gets a car and a job, and the household gets a budgetCollapse )

Mom sent a package to me for my birthday with some nice swag inside. A handmade thick brass cuff bracelet, a pair of wrought iron sconces, a set of King egyptian cotton sheets in a lovely champagne color, and a check for A.M. & I to splurge on this weekend. Considering my desk hasn't been the same since the move and we are both itching for a better shower, I'm thinking of taking that check and buying a new computer desk and one of those big silver rain shower heads. She told us to buy a rug with the money.. but we can live without a WalMart rug for a while. :)

Mood: contemplative

  2006.03.01  11.16
Please vote for me!

How cool is this? Not only can you vote for me and help me win, but you can also register at the site and try to win your OWN Harry Potter free swag -- instantly!!

Mood: excited


  2006.03.01  09.24

The move is complete. Mostly. Well, it's at the point where we're not going to do any more moving, at least.

Great things about the week of February 27th, 2006:
  • Laurel & A.M. have great new digs in an older neighborhood that is mostly quiet, with lots of room to spread out and be comfy.
  • A.M. has found a new truck and has been approved for a 5.8% loan on said truck, which is about 4% less than what I'm getting now. Lesson learned: look for loans at Truiliant when I trade in this vehicle.
  • A.M. has an interview this afternoon for a position that he has a REALLY good chance of getting - the only question is pay rate.
  • Laurel & A.M.'s landlord only asked for a $100 security deposit for their three pets instead of $100 per pet, which was originally tossed around.
  • Laurel & A.M. are no longer moody and snappish, and everyone is relieved and happy right now.

I feel like I can breathe a big sigh of relief. Well, really -- since we last left the old house yesterday, moving out the last of the miscellanea and leaving the place clean and fresh like it was when we moved in, I have felt as if the weight of the world has been lifted from my spirit.

Murder most foul.. er.. fowl... er.. rodent?Collapse )


  2006.02.26  22.09
Almost there.

The house isn't done, but it's close enough to being done that I can be happy enough with it. The house isn't completely packed.. I have to shut down the computers tonight and get mine together, as well as throw some stuff in our closet into some bags or boxes, as well as pack away the breakables from the kitchen.

It's almost 10 eastern right now, and we will be in the thick of packing up a truck in less than 12 hours. I don't expect this move to be particularly stressful, but A.M. seems determined to make it so.

I think this is a guy thing.

Anyhow, I should know something about this job by the end of the day tomorrow. My phone will be on me every minute of the day tomorrow, I guarantee. Wish us luck, and wish me luck. This should be interesting, and the new, larger place (with the new, larger kitchen!) will be sooooo nice. Going to bed tomorrow will be incredibly satisfying.


  2006.02.24  08.54
Jobwatch: Day 2

I'm waitin
by the phone
every minute of the
golly gosh darn day


Mood: anxious

  2006.02.22  08.33
Life, the Universe, and Nothing in Particular

The idea of Earth as a giant computer is just fascinating, isn't it?

Interview went well yesterday. I imagine I did well on the test, but I'll be the first to say that recently my spelling skills have gone down the pooper. He seemed impressed by the fact that I read a lot in my spare time, which I guess is good. My biggest issue/hurdle/challenge to being offered something viable here is that my current rate of pay is almost two dollars more than this position's average rate of pay. When the issue was addressed yesterday, I acknowledged that I'd be willing to consider making less than even what I was approved for before, because I like the position. I said it would be a balancing act between pay and benefits/job satisfaction.

Mom reminded me yesterday evening to write a thank you letter. It's sitting in my Outbox now, and will be delivered to the mail pick up in a few minutes. He should receive it tomorrow.

I really want this.
The question is -- how much of a pay cut can I stomach in order to GET this?
Looks like I'll be drawing up another Excel budget sheet sometime soon.

Mood: odd

  2006.02.21  12.51
You know..

I get the feeling that my life is "giving birth" in a way.

Lots of stress, lots of confusion, some pain, and it keeps building.
I'm waiting for the *POP* Ahhhhhh... portion of the process.


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